The Ultimate Saga Of Drunken Minds!

It's more of a tribal thing, that me and my friends have given in to. Any random day of month, we make ourselves available unceremoniously, mostly on weekends and sit around that gleaming bottle that holds the power to dowse the anguish of week long slogging in office without much to look upto and smoke that obfuscate the view, leaving the thin trail of foggy metaphoric line of our so called lives!

But, Hell, wait! why are we getting so philosophical here!?
This ain't a post about, how puny and miserable we are or we can be? Instead, its about how "liquorified" mind cease to think after a point and begins to perceive the unrealistic as reality! The fun part is, the way our brain forms our responses and perception;once it has been sopped with enough booze! :)


Anyway, six of us were curled up in never-seen-before yogic stances on floor, around that single bottle of Vodka. Bottle's emptiness screamed out loud, the reason for everyone's sudden inclination towards yogistic tendencies!
I'll spare the torture of all the reasonable conversation that took place while the bottle was on it's way down! It's the end of the bottle which marks the beginning of most craziest talks, done ever in history.

So here we are with:
1. Mr. TwinCities! [The greatest admirer of evidently discrete and discreetly evident feminine anatomy. He's got the raunchiest humor ever!]
2. Mr. BinaryStar! [The geek of the group! The alpha and o-mi-gaad! The Nerd]
3. Mr. BunnySuck! [Basically the unanimous loser of whole group, who think, he's not even worth being called a loser]
4. Mr. HulkAngry! [The shot tempered fireball, who would burn his own effigy, in case the need arise!]
5. Mr. Casanobha! [He's got lil funny accent, but who gives a fuck? He's got a hot babe by his side!]
6. Miss Snobite! [The reason, why everyone in room is still 80% covered in clothes, except mr.casanobha, because he thinks it's unmanly to wear anything just more than a pair or undies and semi transparent vest in front on friends and girlfriend! The name "Snowbite", because she is nothing short of a greedy cold bitch!]
7. Mr. OnionGas! [Apart from untimely farts [so much for onion part] that is his specialty, he also has a knack for supreme sarcasm, and it often ends up in arguments and tears! that's why "tears"! ]
and Finally we have
8. Mr. EmptyGlass [Not only his hollow knowledge has made him popular this way, but also he is bit on killer side of philosophy! He's the reason why half of us rem. suicide hotline number by heart!]

So that's the killer combination if Ulti-Eight!

Here is the "snippet" of conversation that took place recently, when everyone was at their sovereign "high"!! [As I'd like to call it].

Mr TwinCities: Hey guys, know what! I saw this babe yesterday wearing a T-Shirt that said "Bowling Valley" on front!! he.he..he..
Snowbite: ahem!! .. [glares the fuck out of twincities]
TwinCities: [Flushed!] what? Like it's my problem! :|
Mr. Casanobha: Hey Honhey! You caan thake fhew cheap jokes! Can't you? [winks winks]
Snowbite: sigh.. okay Lollipop!
Oniongas : Of course she can! after all, living with you, she is use to "cheap" stuff! BTW, lollipop?? Oh My Friggin Gawd... save us!!!
Bunnysuck: casanobha, didn't I tell you to buy cheap stuff for me too, when you go shopping! [whines]
casanobha : whatever! you guys??!!! [exasperated]
Oniongas: fartsss!!
Snowbite: eeeewwwwww!!
[she is relatively less drunk than everyone else.. so the noise is getting processed and rendered in everyone else's brain still!]
Twincities;Binarystar,Bunnysuck: Holy fuck oniongas!! Dude, get a life and eat less!
Casanobha: Phuck!
Emptyglass: I'd say this smell is relative. If you compare it to last one, it aint so bad!
Hulkangry: how about a cup of "shut the fuck up"?
Twincities: [wink wink] what's the cup size!??
Binarystar: screw you twincities! [gasps for a quick potion of air with loud snuff and shuts up his mouth]
Hulkangry: what in the name of sweet potatoes was that?
Binarystar: with a suppressed exhaling! I calculated, if I can hold my breath for 45 seconds, and if the fart linger around average 1 minutes and 28 seconds; considering previous fart time averages; I'll have to breath only....
Twincities: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang on a minute! Are u telling me, that every time oniongas farts; you start you stop-clock and take average????? [thinks that earth is round for a sec.. hell wait! earth IS round!]
Binarystar: [defensively] well you have to have stats if you want to sustain least damage?
Oniongas: [furiously] It's natural gas not carbon-monoxide!
bunnysuck: with the kind of crap you eat with that cele-bitchy friend of yours, we can never be sure! [grins, for cracking a joke above his level of humor!]
Oniontear: [gives a approving smile and admiring nod of a master]
Twincities: she is hot? eh? [with all anticipation huddled in balcony of eyes!]
Snowbite: guys, can you just break this carp-talk! I am feeling uncomfortable!!
Twincities: why don't you slide into something comfortable then!? [gives a slurrp]
Casanobha: Hey! watch your mouth! I am still here!! Okhay!!! [glares]
Hulkangry: you and your what? scanty outfit? All it would take to escape your wrath is running down to road! [grins ..]
Snowbite: you are just jealous of him because he doesn't have a ponge like yours and so he has nothing to be ashamed of wearing tight fit!
Oniongas: oh.. in that case, I'd suggest he'd wear fur "Pants" or shorts in least! We really don't want to showcase the weak locations! [laughs]
[unanimous peel of laughter] except the two that is.. :)
Oniongas: farts! farts!
Binarystar: [beep beep..... grins sheepishly... watches alternatively between everyone's faces and his watch!]
Emtyglass: I think that if we give in to the theory of relativity in it's entirety, we would be able to appreciate the efforts put in by oniontears' digestive tract! what say?
Casanobha and Snowbite :[Middle finger!]
Bunnysuck: [some new sign he learned and no one else knows! It was kinda weird]
Hulkangry;Twincities: STFU!
Oniongas:I appreciate it dude!
Binarystar: gasp! gasp! [silent]
Snowbite: no wonder you guys don't have any girlfriends!
Oniongas: I use to worry about the same thing. And then I met you! THANK GOD, we don't have any!
Casanobha: [dirty looks]
Hulkangry: Furrr Pants!
Casanobha: [stays mum]
Bunnysuck: hey! snowbite, why don't you tell me, what should I do, to get a girlfriend! It's like every guys' dream!
Snowbite: I'd tell you, but you'd have to treat me with more respect around here!
bunnysuck and binarystar: [looking sideways towards everyone] okhaaaaaay!
Oniongas: over my dead body!
Snowbite: don't worry you anyway smell like one! [give a short tongue and crazy nod]
Hulkangry: [roaring laugh] okay! that was a good one! I am in!
Twincities: are the "sleeping beauties" part of course! do we have any hands on?
Bunnysuck: hands on what? [innocently]
Oniongas: I wanna be a part too...
Casanobha: put a halt to that pollution control first!
Oniongas: [giving in] ok! no more aaloo parathas with celebitchy anymore! she isn't even hot anyway!
Snowbite: [excited] Coool!! I'll tell you what girls dig!!!

...to be continued!! :)