Oh.. Mannn! I have been witchcrafted!

Disclaimer crap: The hardcore poop in this lousy incident bears remarkable resemblence to @tom; who, due to the grace of almighty is still alive to twist the facts beyong imagination and scare the beegess out of "superstitious losers"! Any resemblence to "dead" is purely intentional [as if now..that is :| ]

My mom is a "absolute" paranoid; as far as "witchcraft" is considerd. And, so is my sister. I think, you can see the "pattern" in feminine blood of my family. Astutely superstitious and paranoid. YEP! Anyway, so when I told her about some"anonymous"one leaving "odd" stuff on my bike; like half eaten sweets, red powder and other bitrillion insignificant objects, packed in a small odd looking box; she almost flipped over and shrieked out so loud, that "post modern hep babe" in her neighbourhood thought that britney is touring the town! :/

Anyway, she immediatly sprung into action; as if neuclar war has been declared and it's "code red"! All plans were laid out, most peanut details of crime scene were revised over and over and situation was "3D graphicized" over phone. After pondering over all alternatives she had strict directions ready for me.
Step 1: Don't panic. [oh.. yeah.. I am sure, it was me who was gasping for all the air]
Step 2: Don't touch. [the stuff on bike.. duh?]
Step 3: Take a stick and shove it all off the bike,
Step 4: Wash. Wash. Re-Wash and Wash until, bike has been scrubbed off to considerably smaller size.
Step 5: Take bike to temple. Pray!

All, said and understood; the final mystery was yet to be uncovered; who did it? Well, I haven't found the answer still. Yet, my best guess; kids playing on street; who forgot their sweet box on my bike due to rain.. [yeah.. I know thats lame!]

So next morning, like the most obidient son ever; I did like I was told. But, before I left for temple and office, there were few steps, that I realized my mom had completely overlooked :)

Step 6: Wear a helmet!
Step 7: Ride Slow and safe!

Lo and behold, the bike was washed prayed and ridden over slow. And yet, 3 minutes after I left temple; I met this freak accident! :| Yeah... no kidding. After all, someone had to pay for all the "paranoia"! Ain't it so. My bike skidded, as a vehicle jammed on a crossing and I went road-diving nothing less than "Cameroon Diaz" in "Chalie's Angles - Full Throttle". Other driver was quite apologetic and intimidated, but I was so engrossed examining my bike's well-being, that I am afraid, he might have felt dejected after-all!

My bike is a fine piece; 36-28-36, called "oblitrator" [Re-incarnation of eliminator]. And nothing; leave leg-guard and footrest; was damaged. I was relieved. After that I admired my well-earned bruises on arms and palms. Jeans and shirt had definitely taken a toll. But overall, I was all ready to gallop like Jeniffer Lopez's ass, once again! :)

So I bought first aid, came back to home; did basic medication and took half day off from work! :D And we thought witchcraft was bad!!

I have had my antiseptic shot; after all am taking no more chances. You never know how advanced this magic is! :) Maybe, it's "Lord Voldemort" himself! :|

Though I must accept that timing has been too uncanny to overlook. I think the shock of "someone witchcrafting me" was good enough for my mom, hence not a word about my accident has gone to her. After all, it wouldn't make sense if after all this, I'll have to spend 8,000 bucks off my credit card for her flight ticket!!
HECK NO! We don't want that son of sodomist witchcrafter to succeed after all. Coz, THAT would be an accident. If she comes over, no booze, no parties, no babes... Sigh..!! The thought itself is too dreadful!

As if now, I am flourishing again and watching my back.

Does "Witchcraft" really exists?? I must admit, I am taken aback a lil and have been forced into some shitty thought process because of this freak accident! Anyway, like my dad say; "Gah.. women and their stupid beliefs! I say, it's all crap!"
Now, I hope you notice a "pattern" in masculine blood of family!!! :)

Waadahyaaa say? :)